035: To Know and Be Known

March 22, 2010
Romans 6

While I might keep coming back to this in this blog, I really don’t think it doesn’t deserve as much attention as I want to give it: I am amazed by how God forgives sins. Just forgives them. It’s astounding!

Obviously, it is much, much more of a deal than the fingersnap action implied in the previous paragraph. All too often I fail to recognize, acknowledge, and appreciate the extent to which God went to provide a way for me to have a personal relationship with Him. And that He would even CARE to do so. I am so bad at really appreciating and grasping the idea of how personal God is.

When I step back and think about it, I’m stunned that the creator of the universe, the great “I AM,” the designer of all that is and the power of all that exists would want to be known by His creation.

Wow.

I have conflicting feelings about being known. A part of me longs for it – I am made in the image of God, I am a relational being, and therefore I want to be in relationships with other relational beings who have the capacity to learn about me and know me and understand me. Likewise, I am usually intrigued with the idea of putting pieces together and gaining a fuller understanding of other people. I actually keep a notebook where I write down little details about people – who likes what candybars and when their birthdays are and what are their significant hopes and dreams and greatest accomplishments and job descriptions, etc. It’s been helpful on more than one occasion to help me figure out birthday or Christmas gifts! I love the idea of getting an understanding about people, and then being able to help them understand themselves, because often times I feel as though people who invest time and energy into getting to know me, and who can then step back and help me see myself from their perspective, are HUGELY helpful for allowing me to better understand myself.

But then there is a part of me that hates being known because it means I’m very vulnerable. To know someone, obviously, is to have the ability to hurt them in ways that “surface” relationships cannot. Because I’m afraid of the pain when I am known and the person who knows me hurts me, I’m wary of it. Sometimes I would prefer to be a little more distant – a little more mysterious – so that my weaknesses and vulnerabilities are not such easy prey.

However, even with this bit of internal struggle, I love how God knows me fully, and loves me and accepts me as I am (even though He loves me too much to just LEAVE me the way I am), and also how He invites me to know Him. That is really astounding to me. I can look at ants under a microscope and find them interesting and want to know all about them, but I cannot actually KNOW them – if an ant can be known – nor do I have any way of letting the ant know me. But then, that’s what Jesus is for. He demonstrates that God wanted to BE known, and to do that, He was willing to become like us so we could better understand. Is not God serving?!