032: A speck cubed

March 19, 2010
Psalm 33, Psalm 139

Today’s the last day I plan to focus on resting. Here goes!

I feel like life can shrink so rapidly to be about me, me, me. This is extremely self-focused on my part, and when I stop long enough to realize I’m doing that, I hate it!

Wednesday night at youth group Austin showed a video on the greatness of God. I wish I could grasp that truth better. God is so very vast. He is so large. So BIG. He is GREAT! He breathes stars into being! He spoke and the universe came into being. The UNIVERSE!!! We’re not just talking earth or our solar system or our galaxy – although that is true too – but the whole of all things the exist. That is unfathomable! I’m overwhelmed by the scope and expanse of the earth alone – my mind gets boggled just thinking of the concept of space. The video was showing the relative size of several stars in comparison to our star and Earth – Earth is practically NOTHING in comparison!

Who are we? Humans!? A speck on a speck on a speck of the screen of the cosmic whole. And who am I? One speck on that speck on that speck on that speck… I am absolutely, utterly miniscule, and that’s just during my existence. I’m here and I’m gone and the stars keep burning and their light keeps shining, and the cycles of the Earth continue. My body will decompose and disintegrate and break down into food for worms…

AND YET, I am so wonderfully fashioned by the hands of God. He holds me securely in the palm of His hand. He hold me together: physically, mentally, emotionally, environmentally… Each little Laminin, every one of the millions of proteins in my cells are working under the orchestration of God. He can hear my heart beating. He can hear the blood whooshing through my veins. He can count the cells in my body. He knows the intricate details of my eyes – He planned how the yellow bursts out like a sunrise into the green iris. Every scar on my knees, He helped them heal. Every muscle in my body, He’s watched it be built. He is so, so, SO big, and yet He puts such infinite detail into a tiny, tiny, TINY portion of His creation: me. And He says He loves me.

I’ve been asking all these “why” questions and battling frustration and resentment and bitterness. But that’s not the point. I am not the point. MY LIFE is not the point. HUMANS, my race, are not the point. Jesus is the point. Great. Almighty. Powerful. Go back. Read those words again: Great. Almighty. Powerful. What does it mean to be great? God is the ULTIMATE, off-the-charts great. Powerful? God is full of ALL power. Almighty? Literally, He is All Mighty. Nothing has the might to stand in the way of God.

Thinking about this causes me to feel like I’m shrinking, and that’s really, really a good thing. I’m like a supporting actor that is realizing the show isn’t about me. I can rest in that. It’s a relief. Can you rest in being a speck on a speck on a speck? I think we need to. I think if we’re ever going to rest, that must be part of it.