059: Naked Soul Friendships

April 15, 2010
1 Samuel 20

I know this was part of the readings 2 days ago, but I was just reading over this chapter again as I was thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Bethany tonight. Bethany rode down with me to my jiujitsu class, except I ended up being late picking her up, which meant I was going to be late to the class, and I hadn’t eaten anything, so after I dropped her off to spend time with her friends, I went to Subway and got a sandwich (I ate a whole footlong in about 7 minutes flat! That’s what I get for not eating for 9 hours during the day!) and read my Bible.

Bethany and I had a great chat on the way home, and we sat in her driveway for at least 45 minutes continuing to converse.

When I meet people who I just connect with and who seem to “get” me (see yesterday’s entry!), I feel SO blessed. Bethany is one of those people who is blessing me these days. We are similar in many ways – both adventurers, both missions-oriented, both second-children, both artistic, both readers, both journalers, both conversationalists, etc – and sometimes when she talks, I feel like she’s saying the words in my heart.

I think Jonathan and David probably had that kind of relationship – except Bethany and I have kind of just recently re-discovered each other. I think Jonathan and David might have started off where Bethany and I are – both soldiers, both responsible for things their fathers entrusted to them, both pure of heart – but their friendship became even stronger and more valuable to each other.

Bethany is an encourager, and sometimes I hate how badly I seem to need encouragement. As she was speaking to me in the car tonight, I had to blink back tears, just because her words were SO sweet to hear. I wonder, sometimes, if I’ll ever get OVER the need to find approval and be valued for who I am and what I have to contribute to any given situation. When people I care about and respect judge me and find me wanting, it’s crushing. Bethany was speaking life into a part of my soul that feels like it’s become a bit like hamburger meat.

I’m not sure there’s anything sweeter than praying with someone you love, especially when you’ve both barred your soul and shared yourself with the other person. I read a book once called “The Naked Soul” and I loved how it encouraged community and sharing and honesty and vulnerability with each other, and I longed for that in my life. In looking at my friendships with Bethany and Amber and Mollee and Kindra and Melanie and Adam and Bri and Sarah and my sisters, I can see how He has been providing that. He’s given me people who I feel comfortable being completely honest with, and it’s teaching me that honesty is really, really helpful for building those communities.

I am so thankful for “Naked Soul Friendships” right now. Even when I crave more companionship and more intimacy with people, I know that God has been richly blessing me.