051: Clean Hands

April 7, 2010
1 Samuel 12

As I type, I’m looking at my hands. Hands are very useful features of our bodies. One of my students was born without his left hand because he thinks his umbilical chord was wrapped around it in-utero. I think that’s very interesting – he’s gone through life with only one hand. I don’t know what that’s like.

I just paused to scratch my chin. My hand did that. Hands do practical things, like tie back hair, make food, turn pages, hold pencils, grip the steering wheel, etc. They also do impractical things, like pick your nose, apply makeup, etc. You use hands when you go to the bathroom, open doors, eat, bathe, etc. Other than our tongues, they’ve got to be on of the most used physical feature.

I like how Samuel asks the people of Israel to tell him if he’s done anything wrong as he’s going into semi-retirement. Before Samuel retired, he wanted to make sure he had settled the score with everyone – in a good way. He wanted to ensure he owed no one an apology or restitution. And he was confident enough that he did not that he asked the people to judge him. When they assured him he had always been fair, he said, “My hands are clean.”

If you stop and think about it, that’s a hefty statement. It’s very bold. Who, among humanity, has ever had completely clean hands (figuratively speaking)? No one but Jesus. And yet, Samuel was so confident in his honorability and, I’m sure, in God’s working in his life to correct and remedy his missteps, that when he was old, he had no regrets. He had nothing to apologize for before retiring from public service.

I stole a baby Barbie doll from a childhood friend as a bratty, selfish five or six year old. Our families didn’t hang out much, so I was able to get away with it. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I found her on myspace and emailed her (I hadn’t actually seen her in years!) and confessed what I’d done and apologized. Although it wasn’t like I’d thought about stealing that doll every day for years and years, but when I pushed the “send” button on that email, I can’t describe the sense of “rightness” that I felt. It was like my actions and my convictions finally lined up.

That isn’t, of course, the only time I’ve done things I regret and had to apologize and ask forgiveness for them. But it was one of the first times that I remember really taking responsibility for my own actions and coming humbly to confess my sin against the person I’d sinned against. It still isn’t a pleasant experience for me to admit I was wrong and acted wrongly toward someone, but I have realized that the more I do it – and the more consistently I do it and stay on top of it – it becomes easier every time.

What would it look like to live like Samuel? What would it be like to have leaders who lived with that kind of integrity? How is my life lining up with that kind of an example? Is my goal to be able to say that at the end of my days, “My hands are clean”? And if so, what am I doing NOW, TODAY to make that my legacy?