038: Causing Conflict

March 25, 2010
Luke 6:27-49

It may shock a few people if they ever read this blog, but there are times when I don’t really feel like being around people. Actually, more accurately, I don’t really feel like being around certain people. People who are peaceful, relaxing, encouraging, refreshing, listening, and calm, I almost always like to be around. People who are opinionated, sharp, loud, obnoxious, authoritative, and always full of advice for all the things I should do different, I’m not always so crazy about being around them. As an extrovert, I have a fairly high people-tolerance level (I really, genuinely like people!), but sometimes I get worn out with being criticized or feeling like I have to justify and explain myself.

There are four of us bridesmaids staying in Bri’s apartment with her. I’m sleeping on a couch and a love-sac pushed up next to each other. Two girls are sleeping with Bri in her king-sized bed, another is on a futon. To say that our space is a little crowded is perhaps under-exaggerating… For the most part, it is quite fun. I enjoy having different personalities and ideas all bumping into each other – it creates a sort of energy I feed off of (one of my friends calls me a social vampire – statements like that certainly seem to build on that idea!), yet when the personalities clash, it can get a little annoying.

Bri and I went to work out this morning, and ended up just walking a 3 mile loop at a speed-walking rate. I think since she’s the reason all of us are crammed in here together in her apartment, she feels responsible for if we don’t get along. She asked how I was doing, specifically in regards to one person, and she mentioned that my personality and this other person’s personality were the only two she had worried about clashing.

I felt bad. I hate the idea of being someone that causes conflict. I suppose it’s because I pride myself on being a fairly laid-back, go-with-the-flow kind of person. I didn’t want to cause any more stress for Bri than what she already had on her plate.

So I’m going to make an extra effort this weekend to NOT pass judgment. I want to be a BLESSING, not a curse. I want my presence to be a balm, not a sting. And as for this other person that might have the potential to annoy me, I want to be able to NOT react and simply respond in a way that would please Jesus.

Sometimes I feel like there is SO much work to do on my character, it’s discouraging! I’m glad God’s got some kind of plan here!