055: The Company of Hymns

April 11, 2010
1 Samuel 15

It’s strange to me how easily my emotions and feelings can change. Maybe strange isn’t the right word – it’s more like disturbing. I don’t like that my perspective on life can be so altered. I wish I was better at distancing myself from my feelings. It would be a lot easier, I think!

Tonight I’m in a bit of a funk. Fortunately, because of this modern, technological era I live in, communicating with people is never more than a text message away… and I have a couple friends who are texting addicts and I can usually count on them to respond to me fairly fast, thereby making me feel like SOMEone out there is tuning in to my frequency and is listening.

I just sent a four “page” (ie, 160 characters) text to my friend Adam, who has turned out to be a very gracious listener, about some current frustrations with myself after a phone conversation with someone. The gist of what I wrote was annoyance with the fact that what I WANT to want isn’t want I actually want, and I’m discontent about what I don’t have and irritated about what I’m NOT wanting, even though I want to want it.

After I texted him, I remembered something my African Dad once told me about: he’ll take a day or two or three to go out into the woods to spend time with Jesus. He takes water, his Bible, his journal, and a hymn book or song book.

Just this morning I was scribbling down some of my favorite hymns from my church’s hymn book, and just tonight I met with a couple other local songwriters and we were talking about lyrics with meaning, and just now I was reading 1 Samuel 15 which twice specifically references Samuel’s agony and grief over Saul’s actions and rejection of God’s commandments.

It all combined to make me think of one of my favorite hymns (I have a lot of these – get used to that phrase!) and the powerful lyrics that always seem to sooth my soul and encourage me through the reminder that someone, somewhere else in time probably felt some of the feelings I feel now. I hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me to re-read the words of “Abide with Me”:

Abide with me: fast falls the eventide; The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide: When other helpers fail, and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, O abide with me!

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day; Earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away; Change and decay in all around I see: O Thou who changes not, abide with me!

I need Thy presence ev’ry passing hour: What by Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power? Who like Thyself my guide and stay can be? Thro’ cloud and sunshine, O abide with me!

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes; Shine thro’ the gloom, and point me to the skies: Heav’n’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee – In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me!