042: Camping under the Cloud

March 29, 2010
Numbers 9:15-23

This afternoon I had coffee with my friend Jacqueline. In 16 days Jacqueline will marry a handsome Swiss man who shares her passion and enthusiasm for Jesus, and she will join him where he’s living three-fourths of the way across the country working with college students.

It seems that for many of my friends, we are in a season of temporary-ness. My friend Julia is about to marry my friend Nik – he’s in Alaska, she’s on the East Coast, and they’ll be married this month. My older sister’s job is about to completely fall apart, and she’s getting married in July to her Canadian sweetheart. Of course, Bri and Devin just got married, but they’re hoping to move to France at the end of the summer.

There’s a lot of moving and life changing happening right now for people I love and care about! I’m not sure exactly where I’m at in all of this. It seems like big life changes – moving and marriage – are pending for many, many folks, and at the moment, neither is on my radar. Oh sure, I’ll move sooner or later, in fact, I’d like to start a Master’s program next winter, but I don’t know where, and I don’t know in what, and I haven’t really started researching it too much because I’ve been busy and haven’t made up my mind about what I want to look for!

Sometimes I struggle with being content in this place I’m at. It isn’t that I dislike being here and being single, but I wonder if something is wrong with me that I’m not also progressing through what seems to be these rites of passage.

Jacqueline asked me how I was doing going to all the weddings I’ve been to recently (there are a total of 13 on my social calendar during the 2010 year), and I admitted that I enjoyed them, of course, but I have these lingering doubts in my mind about where I’m at in all of this. “Dani,” Jacqueline said, “Someone once pointed out to me that in Numbers 9 the Israelites probably didn’t always feel like they were camped at the best spot. Sometimes they had to sleep on rocks, or walk miles to get fresh water. When they moved to a spot, they might have wanted to hurry up and move on to the next, or go back to their previous campsite, but they didn’t. They stayed where God put them, because where they were was where God wanted them, and if they tried to move before God directed, they wouldn’t know where to go.” Jacqueline smiled her sweet, gracious smile. “I know this might not be what you want to hear right now, and I know you’ve probably already heard it all before, but I eventually realized that my camp of singleness was where God had me. Even though the clouds that seemed to be directing all my friends were moving them on to different geographical locations, or different relational statuses, for me, God had me where He wanted me.”

I was so relieved and encouraged to hear her words. I know that I’m not the only person in this place, and I know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels frustrated with where I’m at, but I also truly believe that this is where God wants me. He has a purpose for me being here in this spot, with this job, single. And while I do have freedom and the responsibility to make decisions for my future, I also believe it is not unwise and imprudent for me to remain as I am… until or unless my cloud picks up and moves.