013: Rubric Part III

February 28, 2010
1 Cor 14: 33-35, Eph 4:11-16, Eph 6:21-24, Ecc 4:7-12
Marriage Rubric Part III: Mental Connection

I really like ideas. I like to think about them, I like to talk about them, and I like to write them down (obviously). I know enough about myself to know that I respect and appreciate people that I can connect with on a mental level. Since Ephesians is clear that, as a woman, I am to respect and submit to my husband, I believe I’ll have to marry someone that I can connect with on an intellectual/mental level, or else I’ll have a hard time respecting his brain.

Because of the type of person I am, my brain seems to hop around in a multitude of different directions – philosophy, history, psychology, anthropology, traveling, languages, words, communicating, art, music, economics, health, nutrition, etc. Obviously I might not marry someone who takes interest in EVERYTHING I find interesting, but there has to be enough connections that those few differences aren’t liabilities to the things we do connect on.

I don’t want to ever stop learning, because I think humility is a part of learning, and I want to be a humble, moldable person, being transformed to the likeness of Jesus. I need to marry someone who approaches life with that sort of perspective.

Ideally, I want to be able to present my untested ideas to my husband and know that he can analytically and objectively listen to them and provide me with feedback, while at the same time encouraging me to develop my own thoughts and opinions on the matter. Likewise, I want to be able to ask questions and be able to grasp his ideas and thoughts, while being a valuable asset to him and his mental development and growth.

The Bible clearly states that companionship is valuable, and I want to be able to be a mental companion to my husband. Life is too interesting, confounding, and exciting to miss out on having the ability to enjoy sharing the process of thinking with your spouse.

And practically speaking, it’s part of my plan to affair-proof my marriage and keep the risk factors to a minimum: when you’re able to have that mental connection with someone, especially if you’re a person like me who really values it, you don’t need to go looking for it elsewhere, or if you do, you can do it WITH your spouse.

My brain is certainly part of who God made me, and I know my husband’s brain is equally a part of how God created him. I desire to respect my husband holistically – and that includes his ability to think, process, analyze, and connect with me on a mental level.