012: Rubric Part II

February 27, 2010
Song of Solomon, Genesis 1:28, 1 Corinthians 6:12-7:5
Marriage Rubric Part II – Sexual Connection

Sex. Making Love. Intercourse. There is, of course, a variety of other terms – some crude, some just cute – but I’ll stick with the reasonably non-offensive terms.

The verb “consummate” means, “to bring to a state of perfection; completion.” I think it’s vital that we keep that in mind as we consider sex.

As God outlines in the Bible, it appears there are three God-honoring reasons for sexual intimacy: for procreation, for enjoyment and pleasure, and for knowledge of each other for unity and/or comfort. (It would follow that the fourth reason indicated for sex - the healthy and holy direction of sexual passion to avoid lust - would be taken care of within the context of the three reasons listed above.)

I think sex should definitely not be overlooked as an important part of marriage. That’s why I’m addressing it second after “Spiritual Unity” in this little rubric explanation. We are sexual beings (Read “Sex God” by Rob Bell for a further discussion of Christian Sexuality). We were created to be sexual beings. Our bodies are, without exception, sexual in nature. And God created sex. That’s great! And He created it for the purpose of marriage – to be enjoyed and appreciated and used and practiced inside a permanent, covenant relationship.

Therefore, since I’m all about doing life God’s way, I’m all for sex in marriage. In fact, I want to experience a great sexual connection with my husband! I want to find my husband attractive physically and know that he finds me physically attractive as well. I want to not only enjoy having him touch me, but I also desire to initiate sexual closeness. I want to be free to explore anything and everything that is permissible by God’s Word with my husband and know that he’s eager to do likewise with me.

I feel like often times, in the church, sex and sexuality is addressed only from negative perspectives: Don’t have sex before marriage. Don’t have sex with anyone but your spouse after marriage. Don’t be too sexual – you might cause people to stumble or be confused or be embarrassed… But why don’t we switch that focus to the positive??! It’s true we aren’t permitted to have sex prior to marriage, but we are ENCOURAGED to have sex once we ARE married. So decide to grow up, pursue maturity and wisdom, and get married and enjoy sex! And while you’re at it, enjoy being adventurous and creative with it! The only requirement is that you have to keep it within God’s moral boundaries.

For me, sex is definitely something that motivates my desire to be married. It’s not the only thing, but it’s an element. I want to feel freedom to experience my sexuality to it’s fullness – as God intended – within my marriage, and likewise for my husband. And I want to experience it for all the purposes God encourages – for fun, for a more physical and deeper level of communication than words allow, for encouragement and comfort, for unity, and for making babies… all with my husband, the man who I choose to share my life with and who chooses to share his life with me, to the honor and glory of God. Because sexuality can and SHOULD bring honor and glory to God. That’s why He created it!