Genesis 32 I found this chapter fascinating. There's a couple key ideas I thought I'd share:
1 - Look at how Jacob's character has transformed. There's a lot of good evidence for it in 31 (for example, notice how he doesn't react to Laban's accusations UNTIL Laban accuses him of stealing the idols? Notice how Jacob doesn't defend himself and argue that he HAD asked to leave and that Laban's character was one of being, in general, a real jerk? Notice that Jacob hadn't been told not to attack and fight Laban, it was Laban that got that memo from God, and it would have seemed Jacob had every right to presume Laban was after him to kill him and could have probably justified a preemptive strike? But instead, Jacob makes peace before he leaves - that didn't happen last time around when he left somewhere.), but I see it as a clear evidence here. Jacob's name means deceiver, and he'd done that regularly in his life. Most noteably he'd deceived his father and brother. Jacob isn't out to deceive anyone this time around. He sends a messenger to his brother and lays it all out - where he's been, how much he's acquired along the way, and exactly what he's hoping for. Jacob doesn't lie at all in this little memo to Esau. This is cool. Jacob's grown a lot.
2 - Jacob isn't perfect yet, though. Jacob reacts out of fear from a message, rather than from knowing reality. God had told Jacob to return to his homeland, and that God would be with Jacob. Jacob doesn't seem to be abiding in that promise for awhile. The messenger comes, and Jacob freaks out. He's "terrified." He starts developing a contengency plan. I would imagine it's a lot of work to divide up the household - they're rather large, and people being people, it's hard to get them to do what you want them to do and shut up all at the same time, etc. Jacob clearly goes to some effort to do all of this - and notice it's PRIOR to his prayer. Jacob is still in the process of learning to trust God.
3 - It isn't until verse 9 that Jacob prays. This is the first recorded prayer that Jacob prays in the Bible. It's a beautiful prayer, I think. He reminds God of God's faithfulness to his family. He remembers the promise God gave him. He acknowledges how abundantly God has blessed him - Jacob truly seems to have a much more humble view of himself than in the past. Jacob acknowledges God's blessings in his life. Jacob candidly admits he's afraid, and he begs God to rescue him and help him. Then verse 13 states, "Jacob stayed where he was for the night." I'm curious about what this means. Did he stay "where he was" meaning "in prayer"? Or just the physical proximity? At any rate, it seems to imply some kind of waiting or anticipation. I think it's interested that Jacob, for the first time, seems to POUR out his heart to God, and the Bible doesn't record any kind of answer on God's part.
4 - Jacob continues with the contengency plan... which shows he's maybe still not completely trusting God. He goes through the work of dividing his household more, telling his servants to stretch the truth a bit, while he's essentially stacking ifs on top of maybes - hoping that IF this happens, MAYBE that will happen... We've already seen how this isn't always the best plan!
5 - Jacob seems to purposefully seek being alone. At night. I noticed interesting parallels between here and the first time God vividly appeared to Jacob. Jacob had been then and is in this story by himself, in a camp, at night, homeless, physically removed from his family, fearful, anxious, having come from a place that he cannot go back, but is scared to go forward... And it's HERE that God appears to Jacob again. But this time it's different.
6 - Last time, when Jacob vividly saw God, it was in a dream. Jacob was a passive participant. He was asleep and didn't necessarily have control over what he dreamed. This encounter is far different. Jacob's role is active on this night, and he is 100% sold out.
It's sometime in the middle of the night when God appears to Jacob, so I think it's fair to surmise the God and Jacob wrestle for awhile. I'm kind of curious about how all of it transpired - did Jacob just turn around and there was this dude standing there ready to wrestle him? Did Jacob realize the significance? Was there any exchange of words while the wrestled? I took jiu-jitsu for awhile, and I'll vouch for the fact that grappling is incredibly hard work. I can only imagine the extensive amount of energy Jacob expended wrestling with God. I know when I grapple, I do talk to the other person, but that's because I was always grappling people better than I was, so I'd ask questions as we went along (and emit small cries of frustration as they got me in arm bars yet again!).
But I don't really think they talked. Not until the dawn started to break in the East (I've seen the dawn over the Middle East - gorgeous and spectacular events!) does the Bible record any words being spoken. God says to Jacob, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!" and Jacob's response is fascinating: he says, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
I didn't read any commentaries on this, so if there's a whole other way of looking at it, I apologize for my mis-theorizing... Regardless, I think it's significant that Jacob says this. He is after a blessing. And he's not going to give it up until he gets it.
This realization kind of rocked my understanding of blessings. I think I tend to think of them as things that just, you know, happen to you. But maybe that's wrong. Maybe blessings are things we can - and often times should - seek. Even more than that, I think it's significant that Jacob's blessing cost him something. Notice that it isn't until after Jacob's hip socket is wrenched that this conversation happens. Jacob was seeking a blessing from this wrestling stranger, and it cost him hours of effort and intense pain, I'm sure, and even then, he wasn't going to give up.
I am thinking about the cost of blessings now. Maybe I've had the wrong view - I tend to think of them as not necessarily costing anything. But this passage seems to indicate that seeking a blessing will be very costly. Seeking God's blessing requires much work and intense commitment and unwavering devotion. If Jacob had lost his concentration for just one second, I'm sure God could have beat him (where on earth did Jacob learn to wrestle like that, anyhow??!), but God, in his grace and wisdom, put a test in front of Jacob that required his WHOLE commitment in order for him to receive the blessing.
How often do I come up against adversity - or even just struggle a bit - and give up on something good and right and blessed that I'm seeking? How often do I even do that because I think God is stepping in the way? MAYBE - and don't take this too far, but it's an interesting thought - maybe God IS stepping in the way, he's throwing in a good challenge, because he wants me to stay focused and committed enough to make it through the night, wrestling.
It's cool that this chapter concludes with God acknowledging Jacob's new identity - no longer as a deceiver, but as one who has wrestle with God and with men and overcome them, which is almost like putting his badge of approval on Jacob. Jacob is now Israel, which testifies to the fact that Jacob sought and sought and sought something from God, and achieved it.
My artistic/photo-oriented mind loves the final scene in this episode. The sun is rising as Jacob walks away, limping, bearing the scars and damage of what seeking that blessing cost him, but also empowered by the fact that he'd received that which he sought.
I think I may need to ponder this passage for a bit.
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